Is there a nagging voice in your head? Is it telling you that what you’re doing isn’t perfect?
YES, I am back with another blog! I am writing this as someone who is a massive overthinker but has learned, through advice from others and my own experience, to get on and embrace the flaws and imperfections. At the end of this, embrace your own!
This will involve a few metaphors to illustrate different perspectives. Read on!
Music Metaphor:
Imagine the sense of accomplishment as your band’s first single becomes a hit, with your fans loving it and new fans discovering your music. The energy at your live shows is infectious, and it’s a clear sign that your hard work has paid off.
But let’s be real, in those private moments, away from the adoring fans, bright lights and monitors, don’t you sometimes think, “This part of the song is so bad, it’s just not perfect!”? It nags all the time. The LAST thing you want is to fall out over a few bars that actually sound fantastic, nightmare right? If you’re in a band reading this (a lot of my close friends are!), is this relatable?
The truth? NOTHING is ever going to be perfect. This also means that imperfection creates perfection.
You know a quote is coming:
It’s worth considering that, due to our unique nature, each of us has our own understanding of ‘perfect’. However, we are constantly bombarded by the Media’s version(s) of ‘perfection.’ This raises the question: Can we ever truly achieve ‘perfection?’ And what does ‘perfection’ even mean, given its nuanced interpretation in each of us?
Crossing borders:
For the next section, we will take a side trip to Japan for a beautiful metaphor.
Kintsugi: Let’s explore.
Kintsugi, this word is actually, in Japanese, two words in one. Kin (Gold) and Tsugi (joinery or repair). Now why do they do this? The plate in this image is broken, just chuck it! HOLD ON a sec. The beauty of this Japanese tradition is that each broken item is unique.
Instead of complaining that the item is broken and being upset about it, the artist(s) meticulously pick up the broken pieces and in-between the cracks uses gold (& sometimes silver) lacquer, simultaneously repairing and creating a beautiful unique piece of art.
This is where, I believe, the Japanese people have it nailed! It resonates with me on a deep level, which is why I am sharing it here. Continuing the theme of self-acceptance and emotional uniqueness from the last 2 blogs, we all have our scars (some of us also have black hearts, haha).
Unfortunately, in today’s society,it’s become a ‘trend’ to self-deprecate. We often find ourselves complaining about our scars and saying, ‘I’m useless, I can never do so-and-so, I am too fat/skinny… ‘ etc. However, if you’re lucky enough to have close, supportive, genuine friends who appreciate your quirks, you’re truly blessed. Even better are friends, lovers, or family members who share your level of madness-trust me, it’s therapeutic for life. These relationships play a crucial role in combating self-doubt and seeking validation.
I am talking about the need to put our own gold lacquer into our scars. We need to be our own Kintsugi artists and thereby realize how unique and incredible we all are. This image of gold being painted on a child’s arm is a perfect illustration.
Embracing your Kintsugi:
Whilst, yes, healing is NEVER easy, you have to face and hold space for raw, undiluted emotion. Which, oftentimes, is powerful and hits you like a freight train! Speaking from experience here. To any and all readers who have gone through this and/or who are going through this, I salute your strength and resilience, brave heart warriors. Keep going, because you’ve already shown how strong you are by facing these challenges.
After facing and holding space for your deep intense emotions, you grow and have some intense scars unique to you. What I am saying, is SHOW THEM OFF, a warrior in battle always shows of his/her scars right?? Why not show your emotional ones? It’s not about hiding them, it’s about embracing them and showing the world that you are strong and resilient. Put some gold in them and shine dammit! Yes, this is passionate, of course! Not going to dilute my words when I mean it.
I understand entirely that emotional wounds are the hardest to heal, I don’t mean to trigger anyone but it’s helpful to know the signs (I can relate to most of these, so I am not above you!).
This 6 step guide is very helpful:
This is not saying that it will be easy; it isn’t. The Japanese take their time doing their arts. Kintsugi doesn’t happen in 5 minutes. It is painstaking and requires lots of patience, passion, and dedication. According to some Kintsugi masters, it can take months in some cases. This is what creates a unique piece of artwork from the formerly broken plate/bowl/vase.
We are all a unique piece of artwork, which leads me onto a song, (yes I mentioned shining and no, this is not Take That, chill). This song is all about embracing your uniqueness and it’s called “Identical to None” and is by Swedish Metal band; Dark Tranquillity. I remember the first time I heard this song, I was going through a tough time and it really spoke to me. The lyrics that really resonate with me are the chorus lyrics:
“What are you, in the eyes of strangers? You are identical to none. Why this disparity of thoughts? When you are Identical to none!“
You’ve come through the dark, time to show others what’s possible and let them know that, they too, are capable of becoming a beautiful unique piece of art like you. We will never be perfect, but by accepting this, we realise we are already perfect and that everything we need is inside us.
Until next time, take care, much love and never forget, you are all incredible.
In the immortal lyrics of the 1975 Pink Floyd track: “Shine on you Crazy Diamond!“