A key? Not like Captain Jack Sparrow with his drawing of a key?
Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006, Disney).
No, this has more to do with inner work. This link is handy. As always, I recommend you research and practice what feels right for you.
But as usual, this blog will be deep. Strap in readers, and let’s go!
Now, what is self-respect? It is about standing up for yourself and maintaining healthy boundaries so everyone knows where they stand with you. If/when someone does you wrong (trust me, it does happen, even those you think are closest to you), your boundaries must not move. The below quote from Alex Ellie gets it spot on.
Ultimately, how you treat others is a direct reflection of how much self-respect you have. This self-respect, or lack thereof, significantly influences your relationships. Equally, how others treat you is a reflection of their self-respect. It’s a reciprocal relationship; others can only meet you at the level they have met themselves.
Staying true to the same theme, what can one do when faced with betrayal from a close person? My recent personal experience of being cheated on and gaslighted by the same lady has been a profound learning curve. The key takeaway, always at the forefront of my mind, is the importance of self-respect. I chose to forgive her, but more importantly, I assertively reclaimed my self-respect and decisively ended what was left of the relationship.
To maintain self-respect in this situation, never go back once you have severed the connection. Ever. Once you leave and move on, stay that way. That good feeling that is returning? That is self-respect coming back; believe me, it feels fantastic!
Now, initially, after you have been disrespected, what is the best response? There are many different answers here. As I keep stressing, we are all unique, but that does not justify making the situation worse. We are maintaining our self-respect here, remember?
In my personal experience, I’ve found that the most powerful response to disrespect is silence. It’s not about ignoring the issue, but about taking control of the situation. By choosing not to engage, you’re not giving the other person the reaction they’re looking for. As Star Wars wisely puts it: ‘Do not give in to your anger/hate; it will lead you to the ‘Dark Side!’
Without saying anything directly, silence lets the other party know that you will not satisfy them with the argument they crave. You chose to walk away out of self-respect. Silence is more deafening than the loudest argument will ever be.
As I’ve mentioned in a previous blog, we’re all flawed. It’s part of being human. Many of you reading this are strong characters, and that’s commendable. But it’s crucial to remember that there are times when we might unintentionally disrespect others. This is why self-awareness is so important.
One last important point: happiness and peace of mind from within you!
Thank you for reading, as always! Well done for getting this far. I know there’s a lot to take in (I never change). Stay strong readers!
That was deep. Unfortunately, it’s a fact of life that people will treat you badly. We can’t control that, but we can control our reactions and make our lives more peaceful.
I love you all. See you in the next blog post.